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Diary of a Mad Sportswriter: T.O. fumbles attempt

Diary of a Mad Sportswriter

Stan Hudy is a sportswriter for The Saratogian and Community News. He covers high school and youth sports in the Saratoga County area as well as writing a weekly book review on sports books. He's not just a "stick and ball" sportswriter, he's willing to take on any sport as well as any subject.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

T.O. fumbles attempt

For Terrell Owens and the rest of the sports talk/sports talk fan listening nation, Sept. 27, 2006 will live on as a day of infamy.
It may never be forgotten.
It was the day that the sports world woke up (for a lot of sports fans) to learn that T.O. had tried to off himself.
Was it for real? Was it a publicity stunt? Is he clinically depressed? Is Bill Parcells being too tough on him? Or is T.O. just full of shit?
After filling the airwaves with everything from sports fans sympathetic to the wideout, psychiatrists calling with information about the level of suicide attempts and fans wishing he once again, didn’t drop the ball.
The day reached its crescendo in the afternoon where Owens took to the microphone at the Dallas Cowboys training facility after playing catch on the sidelines, testing his broken finger.
Now does a person overdose on pain killers, get his stomach pumped at the local hospital, then show up for some light practice and then hold a press conference.
Well, if your T.O.
His story, which is as bad as the truth, or the first police report.
He was tired and sore, he took some pain pills. He needed more, so he took more with his “supplements.” The entire time we have more information about the painkiller than we do the supplements, but that’s for another press conference.
Apparently T.O. received some treatment for his broken finger from his doctor and may have fallen asleep on his training table. Last time I heard, rehab or poking and twisting of anything broken or pulled is sore.
But he fell asleep and his MD left.
His publicist, Kim Etheredge spoke with him across the table and he just “wasn’t acting himself,” so she did the proper thing and called 911.
Lights, sirens, redacted police reports later and at the press conference, it was all Kim Etheredge’s fault.
She over-reacted. T.O. says he hid the extra pain killer pills. Must be some new thief in town, searching through underwear draws for pain killers!
The publicist, Etheredge says the police report is inaccurate. Are we surprised that the publicist disagrees with an official document?
Sorry folks, press conference over..Oh, and by the way I think I’ll play on Sunday.
Is that good for T.O.? A shout-out to the Vegas bookies? Or just T.O. being T.O.?
The day got better as after T.O. left the podium, ESPN switched to another master of the English language, Michael Irvin. Not only can he mumble through his own explanation of a conversation with T.O. he also knows a little about dealing with the authorities.
Oh, how the day got brighter and brighter.
Let’s look at the potential outcome..T.O. gets more undeserved publicity, Kim Etheredge finds a new line of work, Parcells doesn’t really care and to top it off, the fans of Philadelphia make a run at the Dollar Store to buy up the chain’s supply of Pez Candy to throw at him in two weeks.
Ohh, if Terrell only hadn’t dropped the ball…

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